Today I wrote this in my diary: I’ve noticed a change in me since the NF1 diagnosis. I’m not sure how to express it. Before I was holding on and being strong and now it feels like I’ve let go, surrendered. I think I’m finally overwhelmed. And grief is finally knocking me down and immersing … Continue reading 24th March 2017 – Blog Diary
Yesterday was an awful day. The egg collection is off. Another barrier to having babies has reared its ugly head. Long story short... It turns out I have Neurofibromatosis, type 1. A very small strain of a horrible genetic disorder. It causes lumps and tumours all over the body in serious cases. Also severe learning … Continue reading Hello, I’m a mutant.
Today I thought I’d just do a bit of a mind dump as I haven’t posted in a couple of days. Isn’t ‘mind dump’ such a poetic, romantic term? Hmm. I have terrible period pains thanks to stopping the Norethisterone. My Lady Visit (as I call it) is due any day and in the meantime … Continue reading 18th March 2017 – Blog Diary – Mind Dump
First off, a diary entry: I spoke to a Isabel on the phone last night about what it would be like to just not have children. Giving up fertility treatment, not doing surrogacy, not adopting. Imagine not having to go through all this treatment? Not having to put every penny towards it. Imagine being able … Continue reading Roads to Parenthood, Childlessness and Why Don’t You Just Adopt?
Are YOU drowning in fertility treatments? Do YOU find yourself staring into the mirror thinking how in hell’s name am I going through this? Are YOU fucked off with life? What do you do when you are bored shitless with all the fertility treatment and need something to take your mind of it? Yesterday I … Continue reading Activities During Fertility Treatment
I get this a lot. People care and people want to show support but they just don’t know what to say. Yesterday I put a post up on my Instagram about the fact I was feeling IV-EFFED (I literally just made that up. Well done me.) and only a couple of people responded. I know … Continue reading IVF and Infertility: What to say when you don’t know what to say
IVFers, how does Norethisterone affect you? Because I feel like absolute shite! Sluggish, emotional, angry. Today, everything just feels overwhelming and I want to cry and cry and cry. My poor husband is tiptoeing around me because everything just seems to set me off. Today should be a great Sunday. Rob’s Dad has asked to … Continue reading 12th March 2017 – Blog Diary – Feeling sad today
I have been asked to write down my protocol for IVF (good suggestion delayedbutnotdenied). I hadn’t thought of doing this before but it may be useful for people about to go through IVF for the first time, IVF veterans or friends/family who are interested. As we’ve recently changed clinic I’m going to write up the … Continue reading IVF Protocol – My medication process and a very basic biology lesson
Even the title fills me with dread. The idea of having to do a pregnancy test/peeing on a stick makes me feel Genuinely terrified Panic Excitement Sorrow Sick …so I decided to write a post about it in case anyone else feels the same way and, hopefully, to share or gain some advice about it. … Continue reading Negative Pregnancy Tests and Coping with the Aftermath
We’re back! Rob, Sausage and I had such a lovely break in Dorset. Here are a few pictures. Sausage got to go to a few dog friendly pubs which he very much enjoyed. He also loved the beach and the (freezing) sea. He was so well behaved for such little puppy. And yes, he is … Continue reading 9th March 2017 – Blog Diary – IVF 7 starts!